Aliens in Russia
by Ben Ellimist
Summary: When a bunch of random aliens and misfits end up in Russia, they all team up to take down the Wanderer of Insanity, Gollum's main villain, and the Russian Alien Killer Elites, or RAKE for short. Characters include Gollum, Stitch, Donald Duck, Yoda, Chewbacca, Jar Jar, Gargle, Goop, Alvin the Chipmunk, Cheese, Fred, Nano Mech, B, Ghostfreak, and an OC named Vlad. Please, enjoy!


**AN: Hey peoples of Earth! This is Benjamin Ellimist here with a brand new story! First off, I seriously need some help. You see, I got a really bad message about my profile. The guy said that the whole Pinkie thing was not something to share. Totally not related to this and I am sorry if I offend someone and you want to delete this story, but don't worry, this title will fade over time. I am just asking a favor. Please go to my profile and vote in my poll whether or not I should keep the Pinkie thing in my profile. Thank you guys so much! Anyway, this was inspired by a skit I saw up at a Scout Camp thing. Please note that this Stitch is not my brother! This Stitch is a complete weirdo. But anyway, please, enjoy this wonderful story!**

Chapter 1: A Quest for Precious

Within a world lied a world. Wow, terrible beginning. Better beginning: After Frodo kicked Gollum into the lava, he thought he was done. But there was more to the story after that. See? Much better beginning. Only problem with it is it doesn't explain the true purpose of the story. It begins after Gollum was kicked into the lava.

As many know, all the ring bearers in existence left Middle Earth. Well, that doesn't necessarily mean the rings left. And I am not talking about the original nineteen. I am talking about _the _ring. Thought to be burned deep inside Mordor. But, the ring was not easily beaten. As Gollum sunk into the mountain, the ring feel from his grasp. Gollum screamed and burst from the pool. For some odd reason, the old, mutated Hobbit had not been burned. He dove into the lava pool, searching frantically for the ring.

Got you hooked yet? If not, continue reading. If so, still keep reading. After a few minutes of looking, Gollum was knocked against one of the mountains inner walls by a wave. He struggled yelling for his precious, but soon the lava hardened and Gollum was incased in frozen lava, turned into rock by natural causes. That sentence sucked. Like really bad.

The ring, however, went to a different destination. As Gollum was pounded into the wall and incased in rock, the ring sunk farther into the mountain. After a long while of the ring falling, a mysterious figure grabbed the ring. How the figure swam threw all that lava, I have absolutely no clue. The figure took the ring and threw it into a dark cave deep within the volcano. With that, the figure disappeared, laughing all the way.

_10 years later…_

Mordor was soon forgotten, left to rot away while the rest of Middle Earth flourished. Everyone had forgotten about the ring and Gollum. But one Hobbit could never forget. And that, my friends, is where this story actually begins.

You know how that sometimes people can survive when incased in ice? Well, this was a similar case. Only not of ice. As the years past, the lava eroded away the rocks within. After ten years of doing this, the lava had sunken a great ways. Unknown to everyone left alive from the time of Frodo, Gollum's body was intact, incased in rock for ten long years. And as mentioned earlier, he was kept alive within the rock. After a while of waking up, Gollum used all his strength to push the remaining rock on top of him. The rock fell away into the dark hole. Gollum screamed in anger as the last thoughts he had before the incasing occurred flooded his memory.

" What is this?! What has the Hobbites done to us!" yelled Gollum, after he had fully awoken. His head twitched a second and then a kinder voice spoke.

"Hobbit did not mean it! Hobbit must have meant to shake us off! Shake us off to give us precious! Do not blame Hobbites!" the voice of Sméagol said to that of Gollum. Gollum's voice sneered at Sméagol's as he looked down below where the lava had sunken long before.

"Precious is lost! No! This is all our fault! Ugh!" Gollum said and hit himself quite hard. Sméagol cried in pain and he acted scared, as if the monster was not within himself.

Before Gollum could hit himself again, a man in a blue suit hovered before him. He had shaggy red hair and a young face. His smile was evil, as if Gollum were either a threat to him, or a prize found after a long wait. Gollum made a disgusting noise at the man, while the man only laughed. "Oh Gollum, my, my, you have not changed one little bit. Tell me Gollum, why are you upset," he asked the mutated Hobbit.

Gollum spat at him. "We knows not who you are, but did you see precious! It is ours! Hobbites take precious! They throw it down here! We want precious back!" the angry voice said. The blue dressed man laughed.

"Your precious? You do not mean the ring, do you? Because that was sent away from Middle Earth a good ten years ago! It is no longer where you can reach it," said the figure, his smile widening.

At this point, Sméagol came out. And after the words from the man, his eyes went wide. "No! Not precious! It is the only think meaningful to us! No one else can have it!" said the Hobbit half of the creature. "Tell's us, whois are you?"

The man yet again laughed, although, the man seemed to be getting somewhere. "Me? Why, I am Insanity. The Wanderer of Insanity, as you will. I travel the minds of those who are growing insane. That is why I have come to help you, Gollum. You as well, Sméagol. You see, the Hobbits were wrong to take away your precious. And I have come to help you retrieve it," the man said.

Gollum took back over and said, "And what do you want us to do for you? We want our precious, but you will be like Hobbites and want something back! What is it?"

Insanity laughed. "Why, a favor in the future, that is all. And all you need to do to retrieve your precious is to jump into this hole to another world, that is all," he said, his smiled getting wider.

Gollum pondered this. He walked into his rock to consult Sméagol. "What of this Insanity? Is he with the Hobbites? Will he help us find precious?" he asked his alter.

The alter replied, " Maybe! If we find precious, precious will be happy! Let's jump into hole to find precious!" Gollum silently agreed with his alter and walked back to Insanity. The man waved to the hole, and Gollum obliged, jumping straight into the dark depths.

Insanity laughed as the Hobbit disappeared from view. "Poor Gollum. He has no idea what is going to happen. Well, at least I get a good show out of this," said the weird man as he disappeared.

**AN: Okay, this is the crappiest chapter I have ever written. I know that already. Gollum is a character I don't know all that well. And I tried my best with it. I do not own Gollum or even the Wanderer of Insanity. That name belongs to the Wanderer himself. Look him up when you get a chance. Anyway, please review and tell me how bad I did. Next chapter coming around the corner soon. Hopefully better than this one. Thanks!**


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